


AU? More Like Fuck You!

by HeyAssButt2009



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Because we all wanted to see AU Dean flirt with Cas, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Both AU Dean and Dean are bisexuals, But we all knew that, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Destiel Oneshot, Fix-it fic for 15x13, God I’ll miss this show, Jealous Dean, M/M, Third Wheel Sam Winchester, but doesn't want to admit it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:07:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23290678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyAssButt2009/pseuds/HeyAssButt2009
Summary: A fix-it fic for 15x13. Because we all deserve to see AU Dean flirt with Cas. Also Jealous Dean.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 285





	AU? More Like Fuck You!

Dean Winchester was _angry._

First, the thing with God. 

Then, the thing with Jack. 

And now, the thing with whoever the fuck these two Sam and Dean imposters were! 

Dean subtly glared across the table at them, not subtle enough apparently as Sam kicked him under the table, but the posers didn’t seem to notice. They just kept on talking.

“We love our father.” Not Sam said. “He’s the smartest in the world and we don't have to suffer like you!” Not Dean said. 

Okay, maybe they didn’t say exactly that _but still._

They had their faces, but their hair was different. _Not Sam had a freaking man bun for christ sakes!_

And don’t even get him started on Not Dean. He looks like a gay dad from the 1980’s! And what the hell was up with the dude's collar!

“Where’s Cas?” Dean ends up asking Not Dean and Not Sam, because if there is one thing that can calm him down, it’s Cas.

Plus Dean wants to see him in a ridiculous outfit too. More ridicuolous than his stupid trenchcoat Dean loves so much. “Did he stay behind with...your Jack?” 

Not Sam and Not Dean look between each other, raising their eyebrows like they're lost and confused. Hell, the Original Dean and Sam should be the ones confused, their preppier, _sensible_ , doppelgangers are sitting right across from them, drinking _their_ beer and sitting in _their_ chairs near _their_ map table. So yeah, they have the right to be confused.

Not….them. 

Not Dean sits straighter up in his chair, it reminds Dean of how _his_ Cas used to sit when he was an uptight angel devoted to God’s plan. Now he’s a slightly-less uptight angel. 

“Who’s Jack?” Not Sam questions.

“Who’s Cas?” Not Dean says at the same time and Sam groans before flopping his head down on the table. 

“ _Dude_ ,” He whines. “Don’t get him started on Cas, he’ll never shut up.” He grumbles and Dean feels his face get warm as Not Dean shoots him a look. 

“Shut up Sammy.” Dean says scrubbing a hand over his face. He’s not blushing, it’s just hot in the bunker.

“I don’t talk about him all the time.” He shows Sam a finger, the most important one. 

“Bitch.” He grumbles. 

“Jerk.” Sam shoots back. “And you do so talk about Cas all the time, just yesterday you talked about how he had a shower and how he smelled of cinnamon.”

“He’s an angel, Sam!” Dean exclaims defensively. “He doesn’t need a shower! And he smelt like watermelon, Sammy! Watermelon. We don’t even have watermelon shampoo!”

Sam smirks, looking at the other two occupants with a knowing look, and Dean fights off the urge to pout and cross his arms. Instead he grabs his beer and takes a swig of it. 

Okay, so maybe he does talk about Cas a lot. But so what? Cas is his best friend, and Dean just got him back. Is it really a crime for Dean to be happy for once?

“So,” Not Dean says, leaning his arms on the table and leaning even closer towards Dean. “Is Cas your lover?” He questions and Dean nearly spits out his drink.

“First of all,” Dean says around a mouthful of choking “No one uses the word ‘lover’ anymore.” He says pointing a finger at Not Dean, who looks mostly amused. Fuck him.

“Second of all, he’s a _friend._ Nothing more, I’m not even gay man.” 

Not Dean smiles. “Neither am I.” He says and Dean takes a deep breath of relief.

“I’m bisexual.” Not Dean says so casually that Dean doesn’t even register what he says, mostly cause he doesn’t give a fuck, but when he does he just gwaks at him.

“You’re what?” Dean questions hesitantly, ignoring the looks he's getting from both of the Sams.

“Since when are we bi?” He questions and Not Dean rolls his eyes, and for a second it looks like Dean is looking in a mirror. A flannel-less, less scruffy, mirror but a mirror nonetheless. 

“Since we realized that we should love and care for both of God’s greatest creations.” Not Dean says wistfully. “Lifes just better when you add Adam AND Eve into the mix.”

“Now listen here you son of a-” Dean goes to say but is interrupted by a deep voice calling his name. 

“Sam? Dean?” Cas says before entering the room and doing a double take before wiping at his eyes. “I think I’m losing vision, I see two different versions of yourselves.”

Dean chuckles. “No, Cas it’s just some AU bullcrap Chuck pulled again.” Cas nods and then tilts his head at Not Dean, who has gotten up from his seat and made his way across the room to Cas.

“So, you’re Cas.” Not Dean says as a statement before taking Cas’s hand and kissing the back of it. Dean sees red before he blinks it away.

“May I just say, you’re simply gorgeous.” He says and Dean watches as Cas blinks up at him, hoping Cas doesn't fall for this fake-him’s bullshit.

To Dean’s amazement, and anger, Cas takes the bait and actually _blushes._ Sam looks at him during the exchange and Dean has to pretend to not be interested. But it’s hard when Not him is throwing himself on His Cas.

“Thank you.” Cas politely says, becauses he’s Cas and is always polite no matter what. 

“Dean was right, you are an angel.” Not Dean breathes and puts his hand on Cas’s shoulder, lightly rubbing the trenchcoat that no one should touch except Cas.

Cas squints his eyes at Not Dean. “I have been for as long as I can remember.” And what he said wasn’t even funny, but Not Dean doubles over in hysterics. Dean scowls at Not Dean trying to show off and seduce the angel.

“Do you have any more jokes up your sleeve?” Not Dean jokes and Cas shakes his head.

“No, just my angel blade.” Cas says and Dean smiles at the typical Cas response.

“Is that an innuendo?” Not Dean grins and Dean wants to roll his own eyes at his own self. 

“Um, no, it’s my angel blade.” Cas repeats and looks over Not Dean at Dean and Dean just shrugs in response.

“Well why don’t we go to your room and I could show you what you could do with your angel blade?” Not Dean suggestively says, pulling Cas a little closer and Dean has to remind himself that he could cut through his skin with his fingernails if he presses down any harder. 

“No thanks.” Cas says. “Last time that happened, I died.” He said it so simply that Dean snorts, covering it up with a cough. 

“What?” Not Dean says, clearly at a loss for words and Dean takes that as his and Sam's cue.

“I would say it was nice having you guys here, but I’m trying out this new thing where I don’t lie.” He says, obviously lying.

“So I think it’s time for you guys to go.” Sam finishes for him, guiding Not Sam to the door. Dean goes up to Cas and Not Dean, getting in between them and grabbing at Not Dean’s forearm a little harder than he intends to.

“C’mon Romeo.” He says walking up the stairs and opening up the door. “You’ve had your fun but the shows over.” He says before tossing Not Dean outside. “Go to Reno or something, anywhere but here.” 

“Call me, Angel!” Not Dean says and Dean laughs. “Don’t worry,” He says before slamming the door.

“He won’t.”

He wipes his hands on his jeans before walking down the stairs and plopping down in Not Sam’s old seat.

He looks up when he notices his Sam and Cas looking at him; Sam with a small smirk on his face and Cas with his head tilted.

“What?” Dean questions. “The guy was a douche.” He grumbles. 

Sam smiles. “Yeah, a total douchebag.” He says and Dean shows him his finger again.

“I thought he was nice.” Cas says, his eyes sparkling when he looks at Dean.

“I’m gonna go get a beer.” Dean says standing up. Maybe he’ll drink enough that he’ll forget what had just happened in front of him.

As he walks past Cas patting his shoulder, Dean realizes he’ll need something stronger to get rid of this weird feeling inside of him.

He gets a whiff of Cas’s signature watermelon scent, and wonders if drinking a whole liquor store would kill him. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something short I wrote! I hope you guys enjoy it! We all deserved to see AU Dean flirt with our angel and for Dean to get jealous. Kudos and comments always appreciated!


End file.
